Some struggles are real and persist through the ages. Drinking with a mustache is no exception. Men have been dealing with the “beverage in beard” issue since the beginning of time. Is there a way to avoid this unsightly dilemma? Yes, it is possible!
There are strategic ways you can drink with a mustache that will eliminate leftovers in the hair. Grooming and styling techniques, cleaning routines, and clever alternative product usage can allow you to drink without looking gross.
If you want to learn our top tips for keeping your upper lip dry, read on!
How do you drink with a mustache?
A mustache may make you look older, distinguished, and made of money, but if it’s dripping with the beer you had an hour ago, well, don’t expect the ladies to stick around. Saving a sip for later in your mo’ is akin to walking around with broccoli in your teeth.
When drinking with a mustache, choose mustache-friendly delivery methods, keep your hair groomed, take advantage of specialty gadgets, and make sure to have cleaning agents at your disposal.
Follow these tips to avoid looking gross while drinking with a mustache:
- Drink coffee with a mustache by putting up a blockade
- Drink beer with a mustache by switching from a mug to a bottle
- Drink soft drinks with a mustache by choosing a can, bottle, or straw
- Drink wine with a mustache by tilting your head back
- Drink smoothies or water with a mustache by using a bottle with a spout
- Drink anything, anywhere with a dam
- Wax on to keep hairs out of the way
- Trim the wild hairs
- Part the Red Sea
- Keep a hanky handy
Drink coffee with a mustache by putting up a blockade
That morning cup of joe is a must, but steamed milk or whipped cream has a tendency to cling to your mustache. There are a number of tools to prevent the dreaded milk ‘stache.
If you’re running by the coffee shop, grab a lid. It provides a nice barrier. If you’re filling up at home, a lidded and spouted travel mug provides the same effect.
If your caffeine fix just isn’t the same without a mug, pick up a couple of mustache mugs to add to your collection.
Drink beer with a mustache by switching from a mug to a bottle
In the confines of your own home, feel free to grab a frosty mug and indulge in your favorite, frothy IPA.
However, if out in mixed company, play it safe and choose the bottle. This will ensure no suds get stuck in your mustache.
Drink soft drinks with a mustache by choosing a can, bottle, or straw
When cooling off with an ice-cold Coca-Cola or Pepsi, you have several options depending on your preferences. At a barbecue? Choose a canned or bottled drink. In a restaurant? Ask for a straw.
Drink wine with a mustache by tilting your head back
When drinking wine, you can avoid splashing wine in your mustache by tilting your head back as you drink. The shape and thin lip of most wine glasses make it easier to direct the contents into your mouth without making a huge mess in your ‘stache.
Drink smoothies or water with a mustache by using a bottle with a spout
If you want to avoid a mustache full of protein shake or green smoothie, buy a reusable bottle with a spout. This can also do double duty as a water bottle so you can enjoy ice in your water without getting drenched.
Drink anything, anywhere with a mustache by using a dam
If you’re not ready to nix a coffee mug or frosted beer mug in public, keep a Whisker Dam in your pocket. This unique invention allows mustache wearers to keep dry in all drinking situations. The thin, copper guard fits on any cup to keep the drink in your mouth, not on your upper lip.
Wax on to keep hairs out of the way
Applying mustache wax prior to drinking does double duty. It holds your hairs out of the way and gives your facial hair some style. When applying wax, use your fingers to brush any hair away from your lips. The wax will hold them out of the way.
Trim the wild hairs
If you’re having an issue with a few stray hairs getting in your drink, make time for a trim. Hairs grow at different rates, so it’s normal to have a few wild hairs that tend to hang over your lips. Trim and even them up so you can drink without obstacles.
Part the Red Sea
Well, maybe not the Red Sea, but if you sport a fuller mustache try using your fingers to part it down the middle and brush the hairs outward to each corner of your mouth handlebar style. This motion will clear hairs from your lips and provide a clear path for drinks to flow. Pair this tip with the number 7 wax tip for extra insurance.
Keep a hanky handy
Even the best-laid plans can go awry.
It’s always best to be prepared with a handkerchief, napkin, or wet wipe to discreetly wipe away any drink residue. This tip should be used in tandem with all of the above tips to make sure you always put your best-mustachioed face forward in every situation.